Notes from the Beanbag
Monthly reflections on the art (and struggle) of being human
Kia ora koutou katoa / Hi and greetings to all!
Me again, from the beanbag. This is where you and I sit down over a coffee and have a monthly catch up. I’ll share five things from my favourite place in the house.
My sister and her pooch kindly posed for this month’s beanbag photo because it can’t be all about me…and I only have one beanbag! If you have a fave beanbag pic I can use for these monthly notes, please send it in (Note: Let’s keep human faces hidden to preserve the mystery.)
What I’ve been thinking
I’ve been thinking a lot about what comes next.
Not in a grand, five-year-plan, vision-board kind of way. More like, what the hell do I do now? Like tomorrow.
For a long time, I knew what came next. There was always “stuff” in the diary, a deadline, a column, a client, an interview, a book, somewhere I had to be and something I was supposed to be doing.
Then, if you’ve been following my journey, it all (rather spectacularly) stopped. At first, I thought the challenge would be managing the crazy emotions that went with it. Yep, there was that! Still is, if I’m honest.
But, as the days have ticked on, the ground’s shifted. Now, it’s more about trying to be okay with waking up to NOTHING on the agenda. Getting comfy with the change in my identity and my life. Especially on Mondays. Seriously. Mondays don’t make any sense without the structure of work.
Good news! I’m getting (a bit) better at it. Change, and not knowing what comes next, is not the disaster I assumed it would be. And being free of all the responsibilities that go with work is pretty wonderful.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s weird and I’d like more certainty but I took inspiration from something a former client said to me this week, “hang in there. Something good will happen.”
It will. Good things do happen. The trick is to be awake enough, and open enough, and not too bogged down in self-pity, to notice them.
Which is a good thing to tell yourself when you’re lounging in a beanbag.
What I’ve been reading
Nora Ephron. Because she mastered reinvention. And she’s funny.
An American writer, filmmaker, and journalist, Ephron was famous for her sharp wit, observational essays, and beloved romantic comedies like When Harry Met Sally… and Sleepless in Seattle. I love her essays best.
When life is out of sync (or just plain hard) there’s value in forcing yourself to laugh — through books, TV series’, movies, podcasts, social media videos or just whatever it takes. Laughing is a stress antidote; it releases feel-good hormones, relaxes your body, boosts mood and can even improve heart and immune health. Excellent when done with others but take a gold star if you can crank out a belly laugh with no-one but yourself for company. You’re my tribe :)
What someone said
Nora Ephron, naturally, on change and reinvention:
“And don’t be frightened. You can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.”
And music legend Dolly Parton on the same topic.
"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
What made me smile
My husband Kevin Norquay wrote this piece on retirement villages. True story. I have never seen him jump higher. Ageing is hard, but sometimes it’s funny. And it’s coming to all of us.
What nobody warned me about retirement villages. Are they simply boarding school hostels in geriatric clothing?
What I’ve written
On my Substack lately you’ll find my takes on getting to grips with my new life:
How to have the resilience of a cockroach You can say this about cockroaches: they are bloody hard to kill.
Will I make the Over-60 best dressed list this year? What to wear when you have nowhere to go.
If you had one more day to live what would you do? If we’re going out, we’re going out with bacon.
Love makes the world go around but it won’t take out the trash Advice on love for those who can’t stand advice on love.
I have lots more coming up — if the concepts of lying face down, The Get Them Theory (for revenge-seekers) and not turning ageing into a self-improvement project, intrigue you, watch this space.
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Big News!
I have a new book coming out soon, The Pocket Guide to a Good Enough Life. It’s a limited edition, a collection of all my reader favourites - columns, blogs etc - related to the therapy phase of my life. It was fun to compile and now they’re all “preserved for posterity” (or whatever) in one place. Check out the cover below. But more on that next month!
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That’s it for August.
I’d welcome your feedback and ideas. Feel free to send in your thoughts, questions and suggestions — I read them all!
If you want to pass this newsletter on to a friend, here’s a link to my Substack.
Kia pai tōu rā / Have a great day
Karen
Great post. Read Kevin’s article too. As a boarding school survivor really got it. Bloody funny whilst super real based on my late Mums rest home!! Kia Kaha Karen
Another great post Karen and I need another autographed book for my collection! (And I have culled said collection of several hundred books down to about twenty and your's made the cut!) You got this!!!!